I came home to Mexico for the holidays and now more than ever I am questioning the worth of friendship and where I stand in the mist of a new year. I do not know how to approach friendship anymore or how to heal, balance and trust anyone. There is no one to blame. It's just a matter or hardening and becoming a little more self-absorbed like everyone else.
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I think, that to an extent, it's almost required that everyone be a little self-absorbed and selfish. In order to get ahead in this crazy "dog eat dog" world, we are constantly competing for the attention and praise of others. If we don't talk ourselves up, fight our way to the top, and hold ourselves in the highest regard, who will? Obviously there is a fine line between when this self-absorption gets out of hand, and when it's appropriate. I often grapple with this same concept in my own mind... What is "too nice" and what is, for lack of a better term, "too mean?" It's such a subjective matter, and a philosophical one ta boot.
ReplyDeletei think there is quiet confidence and egocentrism. im not in search of either one. im saying that im in a quest to find a state of being that makes me hard enough to create a great sounding thud when i fall, but not so hard that i might crack and break.
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